He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize