I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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