Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
