last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
