Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so that wasnt chicken after all
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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