You just made me feel so damn special
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
