hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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