the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
