why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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