I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
