Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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