like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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