Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
