So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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