i'm signing you up for texting rehab
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
