its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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