And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
honey bunches of taint.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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