Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
