shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
