YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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