thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
