I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
