Soap is not a condiment
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
