If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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