We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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