My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
