I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
