I'm gonna have a badass scar
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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