I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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