so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
