i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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