Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
