a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
