Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
