So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Someone shit on the floor
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize