Pappa wants mamma naked
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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