but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
