I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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