No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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