...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
