Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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