tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
third nipple confirmed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
