pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
