at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
