if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
