Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
