But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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