You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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