what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
