I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
